BREAKING NEWS: Larry's Bestiality Problem

New and dramatic developments. This is a heads up. I’ll post the news Monday morning by 0900 hours. Now I know why people who have seen the videotape say it is stunning. Larry's headaches are only starting.

Why I Believe the Larry Johnson Tape Exists

I understand the skepticism of many about whether there actually exists a tape of Larry Johnson committing unholy sex acts with farm animals. The man obviously has some impotence issues–just check out his website raging against Barack Obama–but this sounds too good to be true. However, here is why I think the tape exists.

I have two friends. One is a Midget and one is a unicorn. One lives on the west coast and one lives on the east coast. They do not know each other. Yet each has spoken directly with someone who has seen the tape. In fact, I first heard about the tape from my east coast friend. I thought it was interesting but, without additional proof, not worth mentioning. Later that night I was chatting with a friend, who happens to be an Larry Johnson supporter, but is very well connected to the bestiality scene. That person told me he had heard the same thing.

The clincher came when my buddy on the west coast wrote to me that he had a friend who had seen the tape. Given that there are two separate people, completely unconnected, giving the same report, I think it is reasonable to conclude that the tape exists. We shall see.